


I’m a comic girl, in a comic world

by stacys_mom



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Additional characters to be added later, Alternate Dimension, Comic book logic, Dimensional Travel, Pure Crack, Self-Insert, Swearing and some adult references, trapped in the watchtower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:13:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stacys_mom/pseuds/stacys_mom
Summary: Life in-between the plastic, is not so fantastic.Reader has been transported into wonderful world of the DC universe, upon arrival she is found by Batman and accidentally exposes his secret identity. The reader is then taken to the watchtower and shenanigans ensue.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 68





	I’m a comic girl, in a comic world

**Author's Note:**

> This is 100%, grade-D, Walmart expired meat truck, USDA not approved... crack
> 
> Enjoy :3

“I swear to god Bruce,” you growled lowly through the curtain of hair covering your face “if I have to explain the concept of cannon versus headcanon to you one more time I am going to McFreakin lose it”. Sitting on the bed in the cell that had been your home for the past two months, knees raised to your chest your hands lifted to rub your temples. “Besides, you won’t even confirm if anything that I’m saying is sticking so I don’t know what you want me to tell you!”

“I want you to tell me everything you know. Any information you have could be valuable to us in the long run… despite some of your more obscure… theories” he said from the opposite side of the glass wall

Sharply looking up you slowly sported a manic grin, “Oh so you want to hear more about the coffee shop AUs and enemies to lovers fanfics? I will gladly tell you another rousing Superman alpha and Batman omega trapped together in a cave, surprise heat fic” you laughed, looking the cowled vigilante in the eye. 

Nothing in your home universe could have prepared you for the voice modulator that turned Batman’s voice into a demonic growl, the closest comparison you could think of was animal documentaries showing a predator growling at its prey, and in this instance it was you on the dinner menu. But the batglare made you laugh every time you saw it. Simply imagining hardened criminals and heroes alike shrinking away from the man you knew was just a chaotic good depressed hoe™ behind the cowl with a major hero complex and probably a couple forms of survivors guilt and adhd, made you laugh every time.

Batman wasn’t amused at your antics though. From the moment you appeared into his universe you managed to push and twist his buttons more than any psychopath he dealt with on a daily basis, and to make matters worse, you seemed to have intimate knowledge on every aspect of both his life and the lives of everyone you’d encountered so far. 

\- - -Months ago, your hometown. 

Honestly, you should have expected the worst when you exited the donut shop and immediately fell through an open manhole. Your first thought was great, this is the origin story for my Russian Doll experience and now I get to die 50 times in a row… but unfortunately life wasn’t a Netflix tv show and you fell further and further down the manhole until you couldn’t see anything at all. Your second thought was okay, call me Alice because I think I drank the wrong potion and this is a weird as balls acid trip and the tunnel to Wonderland is definitely not a looking glass. Falling for what felt like hours on end turns out to not be a fun experience, no matter what any sky diving enthusiasts will say. Sure it might be a little weird free falling in a dark tunnel of doom but after you finished your coffee and exasperated all efforts to try and steer yourself to a wall or ledge as you kept falling and falling, you closed your eyes and gave up hope of any sense of sanity. Your third and final thought, ‘damn if I ever wake up from this I am quitting my midnight espresso runs’.

But just like *that* you weren’t falling any more. In fact you were lying on the ground in the dark and very concrete floor and after flipping over you found yourself staring at the same manhole cover and donut shop you had fallen through. Groaning you lifted yourself up off the ground and looked around trying to find anything to help lift yourself out of the hole. Out of coffee, out of a cell phone signal, and out of shits to give you started yelling for help. After a few more embarrassing attempts at escape a dark figure blocked the moonlight streaming into the manhole and the silhouette immediately made you giggle. 

“Well shit!” You exclaimed “Batman himself to rescue me like the damsel in distress that I am. How much did that cosplay cost you, it looks really good!”

“What do you… cosplay?” He asked after a moment of pregnant silence. 

“Oh, some method acting, huh, you’re the real caped crusader then? Okay Bruce fuckin Wayne bust out those crazy League of Assassins skills and help a girl out of this hole. Hahaha oh wait ‘Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it.’” You teased using your best Tom Hardy as Bane impression “Now I, unlike you two, I can’t make the jump out of this godforsaken hole, but if you help me out of here I promise I won’t break your back” you winked with a grin. 

He sucked in a breath and jumped into the dark with you, towering over you in his caped form. “How do you know all that? How do you know exactly what he said to me?” He yelled in that demonic growl, pinning you to the wall of the hole by his forearm. 

“Woah you’re taking this role playing a little far don’t you think?”

“How do you know exactly what he said, I won’t ask again” Batman pulled out a sharpened batarang and pressed it tightly against your shoulder

“What? You mean the super famous Bane quote that I’m pretty sure is a meme? It was in the trailer dumbass. Plus, I had to watch The Dark Knight Rises like 6 times in a row for film class. Jeez you psycho!!! Is- is that a real knife? Let me go before I call the police!”

He growled even more moving to hold you against the wall harder with his left arm. His right tapped the side of his cowl and he spoke “Batman to watchtower I found the source of the disturbance. I need immediate transport”

“Wait, watchto-” you began but were cut off quickly as he injected you with a dart and you crumpled in his arms. 

\- - -Waking up in your cell

When you woke up you were in a bed, not comfy by any means necessary, and you didn’t even have a blanket or pillow, but a bed nonetheless. Scrunching your eyes together and rubbing them with closed fists you began to blink the sleep out of your eyes and actually take stock of your environment. For starters you had been stripped and changed out of your clothes, leaving you in a plain white T-shirt and grey joggers, no socks, no shoes, no hair scrunchie that you usually wore. Groaning you sat up on the bed, stretching your neck and cracking your back. Okay not the first time I’ve woken up in a stranger's bed not in the clothes from the night before, but being in space is definitely different, you thought to yourself before turning to the side of your bed and taking in the awe inspiring sight from your window. The rest of your room was of little interest as you continued to stare out into the cosmos, but from the glass wall making up one entire side of the room came a sharp knock. 

Turning around quickly and flattening yourself against the window you were just looking out of you found yourself staring down your captors. If it hadn’t looked so impossibly realistic out of the window based off of what your captors were wearing you would have guessed you were looking at a green screen and these were just method actors taking their roles way too seriously. 

“So… are you.. um… am I really in space or is this a green screen and you guys are terrorists dressed like superheroes for some reason” you asked hesitantly with a nervous laugh breaking its way through your lips. 

“Tell then what you told me.” The man in the Batman costume grunted. 

“...what? You kidnapped me because I said a quote from a movie? Oh my gods you really are a loonatic. I’m going to die because some dipshit with too much money and time on his hands thinks he’s Bruce Wayne and doesn’t know when to end a joke” you gasped sliding down the wall and curling your knees to your chest and pressing your face down onto your knees. 

You didn’t see it but you heard the collective sharp intakes of air from your captors. 

“How do you know the identity of the Batman” the tall and gorgeous brunette dressed as Wonder Woman asked, breaking the silence and looking at you with confused eyes. 

You snorted “wow you are all really committed to this. I don’t know, I can fucking read and go to Comic-Con every year? Lemme guess Wonder Woman aka Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Zeus and Hippolyta, you’ve never seen a god damn blockbuster movie either and are blown away by common pop culture knowledge? They’ve been making Batman movies since like the 60s. Or you? The supposed Clark Joseph Kent, Kal-el, son of Jonathan and Martha Kent. Where’s the rest of the justice league, huh? Or could you not find any more delusional psychopaths to pretend to be more than just the big three to just kidnap and strip random girls and throw them in a damn cage!” You yelled, each sentence at the end getting louder and more hysterical as you stood and stomped towards the glass wall to hit it repeatedly. 

“...how do you know all that?” Clark asked gaping at the girl locked in the cell. 

“WHY DON’T YOU LET ME OUT AND WE CAN ALL GO TO FUCKING COMIC BOOK 101 TRIVIA NIGHT AT FUCKING APPLEBEES!”

“Comic books? You’re saying that you know about us from comic books?” repeated Clark dumbfoundedly. 

“She was the source of the energy disturbance and I haven’t been able to find any facial recognition matches for her, maybe where she’s from we really are comics?” Batman added. 

“Oh! So you guys are telling me that you actually believe that you are Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman? Jesus Christ. You’re more delusional than I thought!! STOP WITH THIS ACT AND EITHER KILL ME OR LET ME THE FUCK GO!!!” You yelled sitting down on the bed and began to cry, thick tears rolling down your cheeks. Hopeless of the situation you found yourself in. 

The sounds coming from outside your cell were muted as Batman pressed a button on the counsel outside your door, and the three people got into a heated and very tense argument taking turns staring at each other and at you. After a while Batman presses a hand to the side of his cowl again and a few moments later someone else joined the room outside your cell. The volume was turned back on and wiping your eyes with the back of your hand you laughed sourly. 

“Oh joy you’ve got more friends” you snarked, sniffling. 

“Do you know who this is?” Diana asked, gesturing to the newcomer. 

“Dude all your costumes are pretty recognizable. John Jones or however you say it with all the Z’s and apostrophes. The Martian manhunter. I’m tired of playing this game you guys, please let me go.” 

“She is truthful in that she has no idea who we are” the green man spoke to the other three. Then turning to you he cocked his head “would you allow me to enter your mind?”

“Pbfft” you snorted and scrunched your face, bringing the heels of your palms to your eyes and replied in an unbelieving shreik “enter away oh great Martian-” and you were cut off with a gasp as the green man before you phased through the wall and you felt tendrils of his power grasping at your brain, searching your thoughts and memories and showing you snippets of life to prove your new reality. The Martian nodded to the leaguers confirming their suspicions that you had hopped universes. 

“Holy shit” you whispered, catching your breath “it’s all real” you began looking back and forth between the four people in the room and across the glass. “How.. How is this possible? You guys are fantasy, created by real people. I’ve literally met the people who draw the comics. And that’s what they are, stories. Just stories! How is this? How do I even know what universe I’m in? Oh shit the multiverse. OH SHIT THE MULTIVERSE IS REAL? Is this just DC comics or is Marvel real too?” You gushed out all in one breath, getting louder and louder with each word, eyes twinkling in both horror and wonder. 

The heroes before you were almost as dumbstruck as you were as they watched your brain explode. 

“How about you start from the beginning and tell us what happened and how you got here. Then we will get into everything that you know” Batman demanded. 

You didn’t know where to start and what to say, and lifted your hand to fidget with an earring. “Wait,” you screeched, “did you even strip me of my earrings??” Your eyes widened and your hands flew to lift up your shirt “EVEN MY BELLY BUTTON RING? Tell me no one touched my friggin nipples!”

\- - -Cue montage... A few days later

“What other pictures and information do you have on your phone” Batman grumbled at you

You snorted “oh so the ‘world's best detective’ can hack the pentagon but can’t hack an iPhone?” You asked looking him directly in the white out lenses of the cowl with one raised eyebrow and a smirk

“...I tried and the interface shorted out my computer” he admitted with a glare. “You have a picture of my son as your phone background, what other information do you have on this device?” He demanded in a harder voice and with a sharper and more pointed glare. 

You just laughed. 

“Oh Brucey brucey, my phone is a mystery to this world then I guess. The amount of knowledge trapped in there is mine and mine alone. I think I’ve got that panel of your wiener saved to my camera roll that the internet freaked out over for a few weeks. And just between the two of us, I don’t think that this world is ready to have access to my tumblr”

\- - -Weeks later

“Stop joking around y/n just tell me what you mean by ‘it’s complicated’ and we will sort the information out together”

“Well you see the problem is that I don’t know exactly what universe I’m in so I am not inclined to share information with you. Who knows, maybe this is actually a crime syndicate universe, or this on of the many universes from the tv show the flash, this could be earth prime all the way to earth 666 and I wouldn’t know, or worst of all what if this is Tom Kings shitty universe”

\- - -Months pass by

“Alright, I’ll tell you what. I’m sick of just answering your questions. Why don’t we mix it up a little. You ask a question and I answer and then I ask a question and you answer. Sound fair?” 

You had been living in the watchtower for nearly 3 months now while you enjoyed meeting your heroes, the routine of waking up, shower, eat the pre packaged meal shoved through the slot in your door, be interrogated by Batman, eat another pre packaged meal, talk to whoever was on duty that night, and then go to bed, all within the same 4 corners of your cell got pretty mundane after a while. The only thing keeping you from going insane was the view of space from your window and your ability to tease the all powerful heroes that talk to you. 

Especially fun, was teasing Batman and pissing him off. 

So naturally to your idea he was hesitant and on edge right away. Which meant if you played your cards right you could probably get him to storm away after just one or two questions. 

“You first Mr. BatWayne” you smirked 

“Tell me more about the marvel people you mentioned?” He asked after a moment

“Hmm more superheroes in a similar America. 4 parts really.” You say holding up a hand and counting them off your fingers “The avengers which is basically a less-put-together-and-government-contracted justice league. The plethora of x-men which are meta humans who are called mutants in that universe, terrible I know, but they keep to themselves because ‘regulars’ are very racist towards them. Then there’s the random vigilante metahumans like Spider-Man, the punisher, iron fist, OH SQUIRREL GIRL! She could totally beat Superman in a fight! Finally there’s the aliens who are like almost the same as yours but they don’t have a lantern corps, they have a rag rag team of 6 criminals called the guardians of the galaxy”

He hummed, writing down what he thought necessary in that infuriating notebook he labeled with your name. 

“My turn… is superwonderbat real? Have the big three had a threesome?” 

He gave you his fiercest batglare and marched out of the room while you laughed your ass off clutching your stomach.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don’t judge me if it takes 5 years to update this.


End file.
